April 25, 2008

I was brought up to be a God fearing, virtues oriented and almost convent like lady. I was innocent and naive, childlike and kikay, lady like but not flirty and demure yet not innocent bordering gullible. However, when put to test, would all this positive qualities hold up? What if the test was about boyz and sex, would i still deemed as i was brought up to be?

Who would ever think that i would let it happen to me. Where does my cathechism lesson's goes? What happen to all those reminders that the Sisters have told me... Virtue (Chastity, modesty, purity????)

It's becoz of love i know, whatever would be the consequences i don't care (but not of course getting preggy) My family, friends and the people around me expect so much on me. Explore & enjoy. Yeah i have no regret ... but sometimes there is guilt in me. I still remember the Sisters of SOM have taught me. It's over besides I've enjoyed it also knowing the fact that i've done it with the guy i love so much. But during those moments, we weren't really thinking of being sensible. This was our relationship. People have gone throught the same thing too. So why couldn't we? as he say! I really don't like it to happen coz i'm afraid he might dump me like potato afterwards.

It was up to us to decide on what was right and what was not for us. Out of curiosity. The more important thing was that nothing else seemed more right than what we're doing. It was adventurous, racy and just great. It was memorable for both of us because we did it with the person we love and that we were able to satisfy each other.

The 1st to 3rd time entering a...... we just rubbed each other. It wasn't really sex as in intercourse. But it was sweet communication of flesh touching flesh that for me wasn't any need for anything else. What more could there be? Naked flesh to naked flesh. But i know how he wanted it. On the 2nd time it was almost........ but i cried coz i really don't like it to happen on us and i'm not prepared for it. On his vacation to bicol he demanded for it again but still nothing happened.

October 19, 2003 (12MN) SH RM 725... I have given him everything i have........


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